


Steps Not Taken

by Kantayra of Yore (Kantayra)



Category: Veronica Mars (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-02-18
Updated: 2006-02-18
Packaged: 2017-10-19 03:13:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/196244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kantayra/pseuds/Kantayra%20of%20Yore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The time for forgiveness, second chances, and last dances had long past.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Steps Not Taken

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://dreamoflove86.livejournal.com/profile)[**dreamoflove86**](http://dreamoflove86.livejournal.com/) in [](http://sarkastic.livejournal.com/profile)[**sarkastic**](http://sarkastic.livejournal.com/)'s [Veronica/Logan ficathon](http://sarkastic.livejournal.com/233859.html#cutid1).

_“Say ‘Cheese’!”_

 _Veronica smiled wide, baring her teeth so far her jaw was starting to hurt. Behind her, Mac and Cassidy giggled in that adorable way that set her teeth on edge even more. She’d tried to feel happy for them. Really. After all, Cassidy was an okay enough kid – a saint compared to his parents and brother – who’d had far too many family woes of late. And Mac had always been a kindred spirit, loyal ally, and good friend. The two of them deserved a little happiness, or so Veronica told herself. Of course, give them another year, and their happiness would shatter into heartbreak and misery. And, damn, but she had just turned into a horrible, jaded cynic. And she was only eighteen…_

 _“No, no!” Oblivious to her introspection, Keith waved his hands – and the camera – around theatrically. “This is your prom! I want to see passion, gusto! The tears, the heartbreak, the—”_

 _“And now I officially have to wear a bag over my head for the rest of the school year,” Veronica cut him off before he could embarrass her further._

 _“Two weeks?” Keith grinned, as irascible as ever. “That’s nothing. Now, come on, people! Give me something to work with!”_

 _Wallace let out a whoop, caught Veronica by the hand, and spun her in a little pirouette. Veronica, immune to all else light-hearted in the world with the exception of Wallace’s charms, couldn’t help but laugh._

 _“Beautiful!” Keith announced._

 _Mac and Cassidy were making kissy faces into the camera now, and Veronica had given into the near-constant temptation and was patting Wallace’s head while he freaked out over his ‘do._

 _Keith grinned at them and took two more pictures before glancing out the window. “Limo’s here,” he announced._

 _“Thanks, Mr. Mars,” Cassidy said sheepishly, looking hopelessly bashful as he kicked absentmindedly at the corner the rug._

 _Mac gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, before giving Keith the thumb’s up sign. “Even the tragically uncool can admire your coolness,” she teased._

 _“Hey, I’m hip, not cool,” he shot right back._

 _“Oh, god.” Veronica shook her head and grabbed the dark shawl that went with the deep crimson dress she was wearing. “Can’t we go just one night without flashbacks to the ‘70s?”_

 _“Never,” Keith insisted._

 _“As long as I don’t have to wear polyester,” Wallace joked._

 _“You’ll call me if you’re staying out late?” Keith demanded._

 _Veronica rolled her eyes. “Promise, dad.”_

 _Wallace gave him a little salute in agreement._

 _“Because I know the things you crazy kids can get up to,” Keith grinned at them gleefully._

 _And he did. Once, long ago, at another dance, in another lifetime, she’d gotten into far too much trouble on a night like this. That night had seemed perfect at the time, the best night of her life. In retrospect, she’d trade a dozen nights like it, just for something that would last._

 _Old before her years…_

 _“And no all-night beach parties,” Keith warned._

 _“We won’t,” Veronica agreed. That one thing was for certain. “We won’t…”_

***

The prom was, of course, the culmination of every teenager’s dream come true. Disco balls and confetti and sappy music. And punch that had miraculously remained unspiked under Principal Clemmons’ watchful eye, Veronica noticed with disappointment when she took a sip. Clemmons’ eyes narrowed at her as if he’d just located his number one suspect for all prom-related disasters. Veronica decided it would be prudent to stand elsewhere.

On the dance floor, dozens of couples danced slowly, languorously, savoring the final rush of high-school hormones before they’d all inevitably disperse at the end of the year. Veronica didn’t know how she’d become separated from her posse – well, okay, that wasn’t true; she’d intentionally separated herself – but Mac and Cassidy had worked their way to the dance floor, and all the awkwardness from earlier seemed to have faded away as their bodies pressed together tightly and they gazed into each other’s eyes…

Ah, sweet puppy love…

God, she needed to get away from it.

Veronica managed to slip through the anxious circle of bystanders that surrounded the dance floor and away from Clemmons’ silent suspicions. The gym was crowded but, in the dim light, she could easily make out the tables far at the back that shielded themselves in darkness and solitude. That seemed appealing at the moment.

She could still remember the ignorant bliss of thinking that some date at some dance was the pinnacle of her existence. There was a time when she’d wished for nothing more than to return to that innocence. Of course, the realization that during those ‘innocent’ days, Logan had been getting weekly beatings and Lilly had been fucking the abuser and Duncan was having violent epileptic fits and thinking about potential incest… Well, maybe ignorance was bliss, but it sure hadn’t gotten her anything but misery.

Ignorance was overrated, anyway.

Not that solitude was much better, she decided as she practically fell into a chair at the table furthest from the dance floor, unalcoholic drink sitting in front of her on the table and mocking her with its inability to keep the thoughts of loss from swirling endlessly about in her head.

“Shouldn’t you be off sobbing joyfully at the most perfect evening of your perfect life?” A wry voice suddenly asked.

Veronica froze for a moment, because this had been inevitable, really, but she still wasn’t sure how to deal with it. It was one of those horrible situations that you had far too long to think about, yet still couldn’t fix. A deep breath, and a slow exhalation. “Logan…” There. When in doubt, stick to the basics. She might not know anything else right now, but at least she knew who he was.

“Oh, I’m sorry. You were expecting someone else, right? _Anyone_ else, I’d bet.” He stalked up to her table, and from what she could gather, he’d been hugging the wall far away from the rest of the prom festivities.

That didn’t even deserve a response. “Don’t you have a date?” she asked skeptically, looking him up and down as if her question would magically make whatever flaky millionaire’s daughter he’d invited to appear at his side. Luckily, none presented themselves. Which meant that Veronica really just got a nice, long look at Logan wearing a tux. The black-and-white formalwear had the amazing ability to make even your average awkward high-schooler astonishingly attractive; on Logan’s far-from-average body, the effect was exquisite beyond her wildest dreams. It really wasn’t fair for him to look that good, not tonight…

“Oh, yes,” he agreed with false enthusiasm, collapsing in the chair across from her. “Tara. Or maybe Sara? Kara?” He frowned for a moment.

She crossed her arms over her chest at his blasé manner. Of course he was the only guy in their class who was a big enough jerk to forget his date’s name.

“Oh, don’t worry. She escaped into one of the roving gaggles of giggling girls.” He looked far too pleased with his alliteration. “She’s safe for the night, Mars. No need to warn her what a bastard I am.”

Veronica knew she shouldn’t feel sorry for the fallout with Hannah. After all, Logan had been asking for it. But the pain in his voice couldn’t help but get to her. It was something she’d been trying in vain to work on. Not caring was harder than she’d ever have believed…

“And where’s your beau for the evening?” he asked lightly, his voice false and brittle. “Did he buy you a corsage and hold your hand like a perfect angel on the ride here?”

Veronica’s eyes narrowed. “I’m here with Wallace.”

He blinked once, twice, processing the fact that Veronica Mars, of all people, hadn’t been able to get a real date to prom. “I knew you liked to play it safe,” he finally commented, “but isn’t your own best friend pushing things, even for you?”

She looked anywhere but at his face and eventually ended up where his hands were playing idly with the tablecloth. Long, strong fingers tapping erratically, twisting and swirling the cloth with boundless energy. She sighed at the reminder of what those hands had once been able to do to her body, back before they’d hated each other and…

“It’s just such a shame,” he went on, tone casual in that way that always hurt the most, “that Duncan couldn’t show up, consequences be damned, and make your fairytale little prom dreams come true. Alas, Veronica, your prince has not come.”

“No,” she agreed softly, slowly, looking at him as he turned away to watch the dance floor, “he hasn’t.”

“Wow. How horrible for you.”

He hadn’t looked away from the dance floor yet, and it gave her the opportunity to study him. He looked perpetually sad now, hollow. If he hadn’t just fought tooth-and-nail over his innocence, Veronica would’ve thought he’d just given up. Yet, despite it all, she could still envision the unused lines of his smile, the fire in his eyes that had once burned warm and caring rather than cold and cruel. Even at his worst, he was still tragically beautiful, and it made her ache far too much just to look at him.

No, her prince hadn’t come. But she still had her memories of what he’d once been…

“You should get back to your bimbo,” she commented blithely.

He turned back to look at her, and his features hardened as if preparing for a blow. “I didn’t…” he began carefully, throat clenching slightly in nervousness.

 _…want us to turn out this way…_

“Don’t.” Veronica cut him off before he could finish.

He nodded slowly, methodically, as if reaching some great inner conclusion, before standing up to go. “I have a date,” he offered lamely.

Veronica glanced back at the dance floor and found that _her_ ‘date’ for the evening had apparently rediscovered his ex. Wallace and Jackie were dancing in careful step, looking more than a little awkward for their time apart but slowly beginning to smile as they got back into the rhythm of things. And here Veronica had thought that nothing could’ve brought the two of them back together…

“Ah, young love…” Logan sighed, sounding almost as jaded as she’d felt when she’d thought much the same earlier.

“Don’t get nostalgic on me.” And it was just one comment in a million, all thoughtlessly meant to hurt for no real purpose, but this time she could see something break deep in his eyes, and he just nodded in resignation.

“See you around, Veronica.” He gestured around them, to the beginning of the end, the ultimate ritual of the parting of the ways. “Or, then, maybe not…”

It took three steps of him leaving for panic and instinct to kick in, but when it did, she spoke without thinking. “Logan, wait!”

He turned back in surprise, and she realized that she’d risen from her seat unbidden, crossed half the distance to him already.

“One last dance?” she requested softly.

“Wouldn’t that be ‘one first dance’?”

She ignored the edge to his voice and nodded, filled with the certain, frightening knowledge that this was _it_ and in another few weeks, Logan Echolls would be gone from her life forever. “Dance?” She offered one hand hesitantly, and until the opportunity presented itself, she’d never realized how much she burned in anticipation of his touch.

He looked down at the peace offering he’d been waiting for all year, and… “What’s the point?” His voice was dull, empty. A shrug and an apologetic half-smile, and he was gone.

Veronica bit her lip and told herself that she absolutely would not cry. _Too little, too late, too stubborn._ She’d known all along that love sucked. That whatever brief moments of happiness that Wallace and Jackie were sharing right now would ultimately crumble once again. That the sweet whispers Mac and Cassidy shared would end in heartbreak. But, right now, watching them, those few minutes of happiness made it all seem worthwhile. _One moment’s bliss, in exchange for a lifetime of agony._

Watching the floor, Veronica realized that, truly, this was the perfect evening. It was just that she and ‘perfect’ would never fit together, never again…

***

 _“Have a fabulous time, honey.” Keith kissed the top of her head. “And, hey, for once I don’t have to threaten your date with bodily harm.”_

 _“Hey! I’ve got_ moves _!” Wallace insisted, laughing in obligatory offense._

 _Keith just grinned at him. “You have fun, too. I’ll rest easy knowing the two of you will keep each other from doing anything stupid.”_

 _Veronica smiled with effort. Because, in the end, wasn’t this supposed to be the one night she could be as stupid as she wanted? All the heart’s desires suddenly not taboo, if only for one night. She could remember dark eyes, then, once filled with overwhelming love. A body she’d never been bold enough to touch, taut muscles and finely angled planes._

 _“Have a perfect evening, honey.” Keith offered her one last kiss on the cheek._

 _“I will,” she ventured hopefully. “I promise.”_

 _After all, this was to be a night of hope and promise, even for the disaffected. All she needed was a moment, one last shot. The excited glint in Wallace’s eye let her know all too well that he was waiting for that same chance. A night to finally make amends._

 _If only she could be brave enough to swallow her pride and not let him bait her, just this once…_

 _After all, curmudgeons could have happy endings, too. Right?_


End file.
